Never Not Broken

How are you? Chilly.
Post a picture of yourself.

How old are you? 23
Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality: Virgo. I know all the arguments about confirmation bias, and I don’t mean to say that I don’t see the rationale in it, but I think being associated with the common conception of a Virgo is kind of comforting for me. It’s worth considering. 
What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday? Financial stability.
What is your hair color? Naturally it’s a strawberry blonde kind of colour, but at the moment it’s a dark auburn.
What is your eye color? Green, opaque like sea glass.
What’s your sexual orientation? I’m oriented closer to the heterosexual side of the spectrum than the homosexual side, but on neither extreme.
Where do you work? An elementary school.
Something you are working on right now: Untangling grey-area ethical dilemmas. 
Do you have any “rules” about food? No peppers, no chilies. 
Where are you from? Southern California.
What would you say is your best quality? I think I’m starting to become moderately proficient in pretending to be socially well-adjusted. I’m really proud of myself.
What do you think you’re really good at? Explaining complex concepts to children.
What do you think you’re really bad at? Sports. Hand-eye coordination. Anything that demands a kind of physical prowess. 
Are you a bad person? Sometimes I feel like I am.
Are you nice to everyone? Most everyone, I think, as long as they aren’t rude or offensive for sport.
Did you wake up cranky? I didn’t.
Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? No, but I do keep a few around for comfort.
What do you think about the most? The future.
What you want to be when you “get older”? Happy.
What is your ideal career? Something I can do from home, or something with short hours. Maybe a mixture of both, I think I’d need something to drag me out of the house now and again or I’d never leave. A dollar on the end of a fishing pole is pretty much the most effective method.
Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Yes and no; same furnishings, different architecture. 
Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Hundreds. Still do.
Say 10 facts about your room:

• It’s usually a war zone
• There is an element of controlled chaos here, though. 
• Dust.
• Lots of draping, hanging, dangling things.
• I like collecting small items of memorabilia, I have a lot of knickknacks. 
• Most of the colours are greyed/pale versions of themselves, not a lot of pastels.
• Don’t judge me by my bookshelf- I haven’t read them all. Many are still waiting for me to be ready for them.
• Nearly everything, big and small, in my room is precious to me. I have a mortal fear of house fires.
• I have black bed sheets/pillow cases. I told people I bought them to represent how “metal” I am, but really it’s just so I don’t have to wash them too often.
• I’ve found easily recognizable shapes in the pattern of my stucco ceiling, like constellations. 

Do you have any phobias? A few. Blue whales & the ocean are among them.
Describe yourself in one word/sentence: I’m buried by a fear of hubris. 
A quote you try to live by: “I exist as I am, that is enough.” -Walt Whitman. 
A famous person you’ve been compared to: It used to be Shirley Manson, then it was Molly Ringwald, now it’s… Katy Perry? I’ll never understand.
Weird things you do when you’re alone: I talk to myself at length. Serious length. 
Something you do without realizing: Respond vocally to things that I’m reading.

Favorites

What is your favorite thing to do? Tedious, repetitive tasks while listening to music. Like walking or washing dishes. 
What’s your favorite color?  Turquoise. 
What’s your favorite movie? Pride and Prejudice, 2005.
What are your favorite books? A Ring of Endless Light, White Oleander, The Sparrow.
What is your favorite quote and why? ”It is wrong, then, to chide the novel for being fascinated by mysterious coincidences. But it is right to chide man for being blind to such coincidences in his daily life. For he thereby deprives his life of a dimension of beauty.” -Milan Kundera
What is your favorite words? Paradigm, byzantine, grace, inexplicable, willow, inherent.
What is your least favorite words? Pleasure. Mainly, though, it’s about context. I don’t like certain words used in certain ways. Substance, for instance. Like “How can you stand that author? He rarely writes anything of  substance.” *shudder*
What is your favorite type of food? Usually the type that’s obscenely bad for me. I like cheeseburgers, sushi and peanut butter. 
You favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip.
What’s your favorite animal? I like cats, birds and elephants best of all, I think. Also: seahorses, squids and jellyfish. 
Describe your favourite texture: Never in my whole life has anyone asked me this question, I have absolutely no ready idea. Hm… cheesecloth, I think. Or big sacks of grain.
What is your favorite flower? Sunflowers, orchids at a close second.
What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex? Gasoline, laundry, patchouli. On a person, I have this strange affection for body odor. 
What is your favorite season? Autumn
What are four things you can’t live without and why? Coffee, cigarettes, excessive solitude and music.
Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? Oh, I don’t know. I was born in the year of the dragon and I like dragons. A long burnished-copper coloured dragon, yeah, that’d be me.

Relationships

Story of your first kiss? I was twelve, it was during a rehearsal for the school play we were in together- we were the main boy and girl villains of the story. It was behind the sets, it was short, it was very… eh, slimy. 
What is the first thing you notice in someone? Eyes, handshake.
What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? In a love interest? Long(ish) hair. It’s practically required at this point, I’m sad to say. I have a singular mindset in that regard.
What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Knew I was having a bad day, showed up at my doorstep with a bouquet of sunflowers and a pack of cigarettes. It was very nice.

Music, movies and books

What kind of music you like? All kinds.
Do you like to dance? Yes, when I’m certain I’m completely alone.
Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:

• Shippensburg- CKY
• Tangerine- Led Zeppelin
• Dinner Bells- Wolf Parade
• Little Bird- The Weepies
• Anything Jesus Can Do, I Can Do Better- Locust
• Dark Stuff- Yann Tiersen 
• Lost In A Supermarket- The Clash
• Hello- Oasis
• Changes- David Bowie
• Ano Hi No Kawa- Joe Hisaishi 

Describe your dream library: Largeish, but cluttered and cozy. Dim, easy to get lost in, with a spiral staircase going somewhere and long ceiling-to-floor windows.
Last movie you just watched: Secretary
Do you like watching what type of movies? I like movies with happy endings. 

Situations and crazy things

You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done? I’m getting the black outline of a simple heart on the inside of my wrist.
What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for? Defacement of public property, probably. One of these days they’re going to catch me doodling the walls of public restrooms or the back of bus seats.
You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy? A long, slender ax and I probably wouldn’t scream anything, I’d probably just say something like “What exactly was that supposed to accomplish?” in a cold, even tone.
How you’d spend ten thousand bucks? Well, I’d probably blow $300-$500 on new clothes, dishtowels and other little odds/ends and invest the rest of it. 
A drunken story: It’s difficult to pluck one positive memory from the convulsing mass of humiliation. Here’s a nice one, though: one time, my friend and I were at a train station and I danced down the platform on the balls of my feet and the breeze I generated felt wonderful as it brushed past my face.